Endurance

 

So, here we are.  We made it to 2021, having survived the worst year in my living memory.  And we lost a lot along the way, both people and any idealism about this country we had left.  It was a really bad year.  First, it was my stepdad.  Then a few months later, Haley’s dad.  After that her grandfather, and then finally, on Thanksgiving, our very dear friend Matt.  That last one might be the hardest to process.  I mean, each death hurts and burns in its unique way, but with Matt, it was so unexpected and so. . . unjust.  We’re still reeling from it.  He wasn’t sick, he wasn’t in poor health, he wasn’t depressed.  Just one day he was here, and the next, he was gone.

Receiving the news was like a kick to the gut.  Over a month on, and I still can’t wrap my head around it.  It’s so wretched and horrible.  Like, 2020, the horror shit year that it is, doesn’t deserve to take him.  He is better than 2020, heck, he’s better than any of us.  He can’t just be another name in the endless litany of people who died in 2020.  Just so shitty.

Fortunately, though, nothing was really unsaid between all of us.  We’re very open and honest with our feelings in the SWARM, and he knew how much we loved him and we know how much he valued us.  And, in the group, it kind of made it even more important for us to never leave anything unsaid.  And, really, because of the pandemic, the SWARM has actually spent a lot of time together.  Marc lived near him and they spent a lot of time together, and they all played games like Warzone and hung out in discord voice chat, so, really, we’ve gotten even closer than most years.  The only shit of it is that we haven’t been able to meet in person this year.

In addition to losing friends, family, and hope, Haley ended up shattering her ankle and having surgery.  She’s still not completely well, but, she’s begun physical therapy, so hopefully it gets better.  But’s she’s had a really hard time of it, and Max doesn’t respect physical limits- shocking, I know.

Other than the heart-rending misery of the year, a few good things have happened.  We finally got out of Florida, which I have been trying to do for years.  We actually moved back up to the area I grew up, near my family. And I managed to score a travel gig for a few months which was perfect timing for us.  Also, Haley and Max got their first real white Christmas, which is AWESOME.  Max, I don’t think quite understands, but we know he is a lot happier up here.  And believe it or not, our dog Pax kinda likes the snow!  We were sure he would be terrified of it, as he is most things, but he bounded and rolled in it and had a great time.

So, yeah, this year has been trying. 

Wife Food is Best Food

So, I’m in a pretty crabby mood right now, what with the terrible connection up here, the lack of sleep, and the failure of that Twine game.  And it’s too dark to read, and the interruption every two minutes kills any momentum I gain.  I’d like to get out of this little funk, so I decided to list all the things that I like less than Doo’s cooking.

With no further ado, here is a list of foods that aren’t as good as my wife’s meals.

Clean the Glass

Yesterday at work, I saw a message scrawled into the seat of a bench.  It read: “Today was a bad day.  Tomorrow will be better.”

Every Year Gets Better

2015 was the year of Haley and Kyle.  We got through a lot.  We got a Little Blue House of love.  We got a Paxie- Boy.  We did therapy, though that journey has not come to an end.  We met three very good friends for the first time.  First, Josh came to see us.  Then, we had Jill and Matt at the wedding- the two people who helped the most through our Black Days.  

We got married.  Our ceremony was held on the shore of Moraine State Park in Pennsylvania in wonderful weather.  My bride was like an angel made human.  A vision.  Though it sounds cliché, she radiated.  I was undone.  There, in front of friends and family, I wept, so moved was I from seeing her walking down the aisle toward me.  I was so, so happy.  (in fact, a few days previous, I had a breakdown in the car.  I was so happy that I didn’t know how to process it.)   Haley was my Evenstar.  It was a perfect, sincere wedding.  Small and intimate.  September 27, 2015 was a very good day.  A very, very good day.

We honeymooned at Disney.  Two wonderful days at Port Orleans and then Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party.  It really was a time of utter joy. 

A very close friend reconnected after an extended, bitter absence.

We spent our first Christmas as a married couple.  Newlywed bliss.

Some things have been hard, but on the whole, it has been a good, exciting year.

2015 was the year of Haley and Kyle.  2016 is the year of The Myers.