Videogame Geriatric

 

I realized that I’ve been playing videogames consistently for at least 30 years.  Isn’t that nuts?  One of the earliest memories I can lock down is being in second grade and renting a Nintendo from the local video store and playing Super Mario Brothers.  I remember playing that and Bible Adventures(the blue cartridge).  Also, my friend had just learned the word ‘bastard,’ but didn’t know it was a swear, so we kept saying ‘bastard!’ over and over while playing the Noah’s Ark levels of Bible Adventures.  Pick up a sheep, throw it into the ark, call it a bastard.  Repeat.  We did get in trouble for that one.

There are some games that I’ve continued to play over decades, and I know I’m not alone in that. Obviously, the big eternals boys like Doom 1/2, Quake 1/2/3, Ocarina of Time, Starfox, and the various Mario games.  Let’s not forget Final Fantasy 7, either. 

I wonder if the teams that worked on these titles ever thought that people would be playing their games thirty years later.  Not only playing, but ENJOYING, and in some cases, discovering for the first time.  For instance, I only played Earthbound for the first time a few years ago, and I thought it was terrific. Even better than Chrono Trigger- yeah, I said it.

I’m currently replaying Quake(the Nightdive remaster), which I haven’t played since I was 15.  It’s so good, especially on a Steam Deck.  By the way, the Nightdive remasters are an excellent way to revisit these classic games, and I highly recommend them.  Now, they just need to do Wolfenstein 3D and Duke Nukem 3D.

But, yeah.  I’ve been playing videogames a long time, and I’ll probably continue to do so.  What’ll it be like being a 70 year old dude playing Doom still?

What Do I Know?

 

I have a confession to make.  And, I know that as a film guy[1], I’m about to admit to a form a sacrilege(not even my most blasphemous opinion, either), but I don’t think I’m a Christopher Nolan fan.  I think he peaked with Interstellar, which was very good, and everything since has been downhill.  Now, let me take a look at his work as a whole and see where I land:

 

The Following – Very film school, doesn’t do much for me.

Insomnia­- Pretty good.  Buoyed by a great Robin Williams and a really interesting high concept

Memento- Yeah, okay, this one is good.  However, I don’t think it’d be as good told in a straightforward manner.

Batman Begins­- Extremely good.  The editing and cinematography(especially during action scenes) are extremely bad, though.

The Dark Knight- A legendary performance by Heath Ledger, better action, really good Harvey Dent(who is killed off stupidly)

The Prestige- Yeah, it’s pretty good.

The Dark Knight Rises- Hamstrung by the lack of Joker and Two-Face, extremely corny beginning, subpar conflict with Batman and Bane, great Anne Hathaway performance, bunch of plot holes, and maybe the worst comic book nod in a Hollywood movie.(“Why don’t you use your first name; Robin?)

Inception- Really good, the best action he’s ever managed.

Interstellar- His best from the score to the direction to the acting and production design. Just incredible

Dunkirk- Technically very good, needless time shenanigans

Tenet- A return to needless time shenanigans, doesn’t make a lick of sense[2], awful-AWFUL action- probably the worst he’s ever done, and the distillation of his tendency to make enemies faceless and soulless.

Oppenheimer- Didn’t see because Tenet was so bad.

 

Alright, so looking at that list, I guess he still has more hits that misses for me, but I think my issue is that Dunkirk was nothing special, and Tenet was so frustratingly bad that it makes me think I don’t like Nolan.  Maybe his next flick will be a return to form.  For me.  The one person whose opinion matters.[3]

 

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[1] I mean, not really. I just know what I like and what I don’t like, and I usually feel pretty strongly about it.  For instance, I’ll defend to the death Grind and Surf Ninjas, but I have no time for tripe like Birdemic or Sharknado.  It’s a Wonderful Life is a masterpiece and The Big Lebowski is just okay.

[2] Yes, I could understand and follow it, it just doesn’t work.

[3] Oppenheimer did almost a BILLION worldwide.

Hurricane Heist

 

So, this annoying and embarrassing thing has been happening to me lately while I watch movies, particularly action movies. 

Now, there is a certain subset of the action genre that requires you to ignore the sociopolitical implications to enjoy.  Mostly the type where a super elite team of badasses goes into a foreign country and smashes everything to bits trying to save someone or kill someone.  But, either way, they’re going to kill a hell of a lot of people.  They’ll explode anything in their way, have shootouts in the middle of the city, and blow the hell out of buildings and cars, with zero regard for the people living there.  Insane collateral damage is pretty much par for the course in this type of action movie.  Imagine if some dude dressed in black fatigues dives through your window, trades shots with people outside, blows up a wall to escape and just jams, leaving you with PTSD and a broken house. 

You have to ignore all that to enjoy the movie, and that’s okay.  But, I just watched a movie called Hurricane Heist.  It’s about, as you can probably guess, a robbery that takes place during a huge storm.  A group of dudes take over a facility that is used to shred cash that the government is taking out of circulation.  They do it completely non-lethally, because they don’t want to hurt anyone.  It’s just a dude who has worked in the public sector for ages and about to retire.  So, he figures, just take all this junk cash that the federal government is going to destroy anyway, and live off that. 

But then some chick who was transporting the money decides that this is EVIL and starts killing them.  The bad guys who, at this point, have not killed a person and are only interested in the cash that the government is throwing away. Like, it’s just trash.  It’s not even stealing money from people, bank, or any other such entity!  It’s refuse!

And then the action starts, and it’s pretty standard stuff, car chases, explosions, gun fights, a few punches, hub caps hurled like ninja stars. The heisters are slowly picked off in varying manners, including being sucked up into a hurricane and having a truck dropped on them.

But, I kept going back to the idea that these people are killing and dying for not-even property.  That the bad guys deserve to die as punishment for daring to try to have some joy in their twilight years.  That these scraps are something that this chick needs to fight and kill to protect.  So that she can then destroy it.  Why?  I don’t buy that this a crime worthy of capital punishment.  Heck, I’m not even so sure that this is a moral crime.

I dunno, man, maybe there’s some element that I’m missing or maybe this is super elementary stuff for critics and journalists, but it’s kind of been a thing that I’ve been dwelling on.  

It’s naught but trash.